A Funny Kitty Story

There once was a funny kitty, very funny indeed. This kitty was big and bright orange. This kitty did all the things normal kitties do, such as play with string dangled by its human, chase mice, try to catch birds and lizards and sleep about eighteen hours a day.

This kitty, named Fluffy, just loved her life. It seemed to Fluffy that all the humans in her family, yes, her family, did everything for her. She felt that everyone loved having her around the house so much that they didn't expect anything from her in return. She felt this way because she really didn't have to do any chores like those big stupid dogs she had seen around the neighborhood.

This funny kitty watched carefully at what the dogs had to do. Some of them actually had to bring the newspaper into the house from the front lawn and one of them had to entertain its humans by doing tricks. That dog had to roll over, play dead, bark on command, chase a stick AND bring it back to whoever threw it and then he might get a treat from the human. She also noticed that dogs would protect their humans and keep strangers off the property. These dogs, Fluffy thought, are really stupid. She wondered why they couldn't get a life of their own and felt that they had to work so hard just for a bowl of water, some dog food and a warm place to sleep at night. Fluffy had all those things and she didn't have to do anything at all.

Fluffy could never understand why dogs felt they had to do all of those things when she had her humans trained to do every thing for her. She could lie around all day and all night if she pleased without ever worrying what anyone thought. If she felt the need for someone to pet her, she would just look at them and almost every time, the human would come over and be sweet to her. When she got tired of being petted she would just act like she never knew the person and walk away. That was it. Fluffy never felt the need to protect her humans or the house she lived in. If something changed, she was always ready to find other humans to do things for her and they might even have the Funny Kitty channel for her to watch on cable TV.

Fluffy knew she had the most wonderful life. Certainly better than dogs and absolutely superior to the people she let live with her. They, the humans, were always running around keeping busy. She wondered why they couldn't sleep all day and maybe have someone take care of them. When the humans left the house and drove off in the big pretty box with wheels, Fluffy never even gave a thought that they wouldn't return. They always came back. And they always brought Fluffy a treat. It never failed. Fluffy just knew in the back of her mind that she really was the queen of the universe.

Funny Kitty—Can Turn You Around and Upside Down!