Cool Funny Sayings From Comical
People Who Give Priceless Quotations

There are funny sayings everywhere
From the school yard where kids share their favorite funny one-liners to television shows that come up with catch phrases that are remembered and quoted for years. Sometimes these funny sayings make you think, and sometimes they are because you didn't think...either way there is never a shortage of funny things said in this world. Here are some things that make me go Hmmmm...

Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposite?
It's funny how one word can make all the difference, If you are considered a wise man you are respected for your intelligence yet a wise guy is a class clown. If you overlook something, you have missed the point but if you oversee something, you've seen it all.

You get in real trouble when it is your responsibility to oversee something and you overlook it instead. And why is a "slim chance" and a "Fat chance" the same thing? Shouldn't they be opposites too? And have you ever wondered why we park in a driveway but we drive on the Parkway?

Can you feed cows on chocolate for chocolate milk?
If a cow is milked after an earthquake, do you get a milkshake? I wonder when a cow leaks if it cries over spilt milk? And if you feed a cow enough chocolate will it give you chocolate milk? But as Bart Simpson says: Don't have a cow, man. It's probably a good thing I don't have a cow. I would be feeding it chocolate all day and trying to make it cry to see if it says Moo hoo hoo instead of Boo hoo hoo.

Did you ever notice that the word stressed is the word desserts spelled backwards? If I don't get enough desserts I do tend to get stressed. And if I am stressed the first thing I want is desserts (chocolate preferably)

I have a friend who always makes me laugh. She teases me about what a procrastinator I am. Every time I tell her about something I have been putting off she says I know you were going to take over the world but you got distracted by something shiny...and when she sees me looking for my keys she always says "You'd lose your head if it wasn't attached - now you just lose everything in it". When I tell her she is driving me crazy, she replies "that's a short drive, give me a tour when we get there 'cause you're the queen of crazy town." With friends like that, I don't need enemies.

It is the funny sayings that friends have
There is another friend of mine that if he isn't sure what you are talking about will say "Whozithasawhatnow?" I even caught myself saying that the other day. It is funny how you can pick up things your friends say.

You don't have to be a sitcom star to have your own sayings, just an off the wall group of friends with a warped sense of humor. It is the funny sayings that friends have that you remember years down the road. I still remember a middle school friend that used to say "why oh why do birds fly, why oh why did the fly die, I don't know but it made me cry...now I gots to go bye bye" It made no sense but I still smile every time I think of her and I can't think of her without thinking of that silly saying.

There are millions of funny sayings in this world that will make you smile or make you think, which is all in fun, just as long as they don't drive you to drink.